A Guide to My Heart pt. 1

This is a new theme I'm going to introduce to the blog. Sometimes, I realize just how deep my love for something runs and I need to express it. By blogging about it, hopefully I can avoid annoying my friends/co-workers with long, panting, one-sided discussions about these things I love.

So, the inaugural edition to this little guide to my heart will be about... aviator sunglasses on guys!


Yes. I love them! No guy can go wrong with aviator sunglasses! Seriously, find the doppiest-looking guy around, put a pair of these puppies on him and I guarantee you, he would instantly gain several levels of cool. And cool is hot. (That is so not an oxymoron, by the way.)

I usually realize that these guys could be total dirtbags under the glasses, but I still can't help feeling an instant attraction to men wearing aviators. I think it's because they convey a sense of non-chalence and confidence. They're also very classic and kinda mature. The glasses, not the guys, necessarily. Not to mention that men wearing aviators also seem a little bit autoritative (i.e. knowledgeable), since movie cops are always wearing them. All in all, I think it does come down to confidence.

Incidentally, girls also look totally hot/cool in aviators. Not being able to wear aviator sunglasses is probably the only regret I have about choosing to wear my (also totally hot) prescription eyeglasses, instead of lenses.

I realize, of course, that this is an idea that I've constructed in my mind and that not all guys who wear aviator glasses are confident, outgoing, and fun. They just have a fashion sense that corresponds to my tastes and speaks to my constructed ideas of what makes a man attractive and what his physicality says about his personality. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't droolingly check out guys wearing them. Especially if it's my boyfriend, Kanye West. <3

Liz, we need to have a talk.

So, I work at Liz Claiborne. Now, Liz sounds like a really fancy place, and a lot of people think it is. They are wrong. We do have nice business outfits, of course, but we also have some seriously messed-up shit. Frog-clasp jean jackets anyone? Red-and-white-striped sweater-coats?

Needless to say, I wasn't particularly impressed with most of the stock from the start. I'm 19, of course I wasn't impressed. However, the last couple of shipments have been surprisingly good. We had lovely blouses, nice trouser-pants, a few cute business dresses, adorable empire-waisted sweaters, cable-knit sweaters, cropped lamb-skin leather jackets. And in lovely navies, purples, whites, browns, blacks, camels and greys. In short, good stuff. This gave me real hope that Liz Claiborne was pulling itself out of its fashion rut and getting serious about this whole clothing thing. Creating clothes that women under 70 want to wear (although, I have seen some very well-dressed septegenerians). My dismay at the most recent shipment should then be understandable, at least to all other Liz Claiborne employees.

Seriously, what the hell, Liz? What were you thinking? This is, undoubtedly, the worst batch I've had the (dis)pleasure to receive and process since I started working for the company. Silver-polka-dot sweaters? Oversized white stitching on club-collar, engine-red cotton shirts? Really? It's been three weeks since the last shipment (1 week longer than usual) and this is the best you could come up with? It's like you raided Mrs. Claus' closet and only came up with the stuff she stashed in the back, out of sight, because it looks like something her mother-in-law would wear. And what the hell's up with pulling out the Christmas colours and decorations already? It's not even November yet. I understand a few early Christmas gifts going on sale already, but does the new collection really have to look like a gingerbread house? Also, I feel our customers all deserve a formal letter of apology for that black polyester shapeless dress thing with the hideous line of stitching down the front from the last shipment selling at $119,99Cnd. Not cool.

This is serious, Liz. With the economy in the state it's in, right now is not the time to get lazy and pull shit like this out of your ass. People are not going to shell out the big bucks unless it's really worth it and this latest collection is just not going to cut it. I like you, Liz, I really do. I mean, you sign my paycheques and all. And you just extended my staff discount to all the brands you own (thankyouthankyouthankyou!). I'll forgive you this one shipment. We all have our bad days (or weeks). But please, no more silver polka-dots!